MCLEODS, New Brunswick, October 23, 2023 – Honor differs from culture to culture. For some, it means defending “my side” (that is, family, organization, nation, etc.) regardless of what that side has done. Defending, in most cases, means killing or at the very least socially excoriating whoever did the alleged dishonoring. In other cultures, honor is more the upholding of a vow or cherished norm, such as integrity, even if it means you have to stand against your family, organization, nation, etc., to do so.

I have never been a fan of being a fan. I never understood the practical purpose of supporting a team solely for the sake of supporting that team. To me, such support has shades of defending “my side” for no other reason than it is my side. Even as an atheist, I found that kind of blind allegiance troubling.

Not being a fan of being a fan has positioned me on the periphery of mainstream society for most of my adult life. I like it here. As a fringe dweller, I enjoy the advantages of living within a society without having to be participate in its blind enthusiasms. I contribute my fair share (that is, I pull my weight; I’m not a burden), but I don’t identify with the mainstream or any of its cultural tributaries.

Jesus, during his ministry years, and all prophets throughout time have been fringe dwellers. To be a fringe dweller is not to impose your opinions on others with the intention of getting them to agree with you, but simply to state your opinions, letting them fall where they may and living by them. Fringe dwellers respect the free will of others because they so cherish their own.

I didn’t choose to be a fringe dweller. I wouldn’t even say it chose me. When Truth (or the finding of it) is more important to you than going along to get along, you are automatically relegated to the fringe. You find no other place suitable for you but the fringe. Anyplace else is claustrophobic and inauthentic.

Years ago, when I was an atheist, I spent time occasionally within the bosom of mainstream society. In hindsight, I guess you would call me an imposter or interloper, though I never purposely intended to be one. I was just going to school or earning a living or involved in a personal relationship that required me to spend my days and nights among mainstream dwellers. And so I read what they read, ate what they ate, wore what they wore, listened to and watched what they listened to and watched, and generally tried to make myself agreeable. This is what you do when you’re trying to get an education, make a living, or nurture a relationship – you adapt to your environment. Only I found I could only adapt for very short periods of time before I had to get out. And so I moved from school to school, job to job, and relationship to relationship without really understanding why I never felt like I belonged in any of them.

Truth, to me (even formerly as an atheist who otherwise believed in nothing but my own self-gratification), doesn’t dwell in mainstream society. It can’t dwell there because mainstream society by very definition is built on compromise. It’s composed of a group of people who agree to set aside their differences so they can mutually benefit from each other. There’s nothing wrong with this set-up; I’m not criticizing mainstream society (it has its uses for me as a fringe dweller); I’m just saying I can’t live there because it doesn’t value Truth.

For mainstream society, if Truth gets in the way of doing business or pursuing an agenda, Truth gets the boot. The mainstream will always gravitate towards whatever supports the continuation of its status quo, like cultures that define honor as “my side, right or wrong”. That today’s status quo was yesterday’s anathema doesn’t faze mainstream dwellers in the least. In fact, they’re oblivious to it. Their willful or unconscious blindness is what marks them as being mainstream dwellers. Without such inherent blindness, you can’t live in the mainstream for very long.

I was blind to God before I was reborn, but I believed in the existence and supremacy of Truth from a very young age, even if I didn’t know what Truth was or where I could find it. My desire to find Truth was what drove me to pursue higher education and romantic relationships. Needless to say, I found no Truth in any of those pursuits. Like mainstream society, higher education and romantic relationships are premised on compromise and self-justification that at times stands against Truth. I eventually found that the costs of these pursuits far outweighed the benefits, so I got out and have no plans to go back.

Jesus, as I mentioned, and all prophets throughout the ages have lived on the fringe of society. There is nowhere else for Truth-lovers to live. Some are outcast and driven to the fringe, while others gravitate toward it on their own. And there we stand, like lighthouses in a stormy night, shining the Light of Truth both as a welcome and a warning.

Honor, for me, can only mean standing for Truth, no matter the personal cost. As a born-again believer, I have come to know Truth not as a concept that is “out there somewhere” but as a living being that lives within me: His name is God, and I love him more than I love myself (which, if you know me, is saying something). He is not “my team, right or wrong”, because he’s never wrong. There is no compromise with God, no flawed self-justification just to keep the ball rolling or save face. I can fully and with 100% of everything I am stand for him with no regrets and no doubts, like Jesus did. I know he will never let me down, never betray me, and never change, because he has never let anyone down, never betrayed anyone, and never changed.

There is no Truth outside of God. I may live on the fringe of society, but I’m nestled deep within the heart and core of God. I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.