HALIFAX, Nova Scotia, September 13, 2025 – We need to be careful, as born-again believers, not to preach another gospel. Jesus never preached the primacy of family to his closest followers, not in the sense of father, mother, and children. On the contrary, he dismantled the nuclear family unit as a first order of business when he started his ministry, directing his disciples to leave their wives and children and give themselves completely over to God. Jesus himself remained unmarried (that is, spouseless, childless, and celibate), explaining that this state was by far the best for keeping the first Commandment. As Jesus’ followers, we should do not only what Jesus preached but also what he modeled.

Shunning marriage was revolutionary during the time of Jesus’ ministry and for many Christians still is. Jesus never counseled marriage to his followers and in fact did the opposite, pointing out in particular the danger of divorce leading to adultery. Paul chose to remain single and celibate for the same reason Jesus did—to best serve God—and warned that those who marry will likely be drawn towards pleasing their spouses rather than pleasing God. Yet with God’s permission, Paul softened many of Jesus’ teachings to appeal to a wider audience, suggesting, for instance, that for those who have difficulty controlling their “passions”, it’s better to marry than to burn. Paul’s ministry established the worldly church, but we born-again believers are not in the worldly church. We’re in God’s Church as established by Jesus, which means we’re God’s children, and God’s children do best not to marry.

In dismantling the nuclear family unit, Jesus proposed a better family arrangement for God’s children. He stated that all those who do God’s will are family, whether they’re related or not. It’s a beautiful solution that brings together like-minded souls for mutual support and fellowship, and mirrors the heavenly order, because in Heaven there is no marriage. In Heaven, like in God’s Kingdom on Earth, God is our Father and we’re all his children. This is the heavenly order that Jesus reflected in the Church he established, and it remains reflected there to this day.

When the Jews returned to Jerusalem after the Babylonian exile, they were ordered to leave their non-Jewish spouses and children behind. The separation was to be permanent if the returnees wanted to rebuild Jerusalem and live there. There were no exceptions to this rule. Imagine the outcry if such an order were given today, but Jesus did in fact give such an order and a much broader one—encompassing all spouses and children, not just non-Jewish ones. This order, which he gave to his first disciples and so by extension to us, is still in force. Whether you choose to accept that it applies to you is between you and God.

We live in spiritual Jerusalem, as born-again believers, and our work is to help build and fortify our realm. The same directives Jesus gave to his first and closest disciples he gives to us. I don’t know about you, but if Jesus says the best way forward is to be single and celibate, I’ll be single and celibate. I don’t want to compromise. I don’t want to do what’s second best in God’s eyes; I don’t want to offer up a blemished lamb if I have an unblemished one in my flock. I want to give God everything I have – the best of everything – like Jesus did.

And there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

(Matthew 19:12)