HALIFAX, Nova Scotia, August 7, 2025 – When I was an atheist, one of the things that bothered me the most about Christians was their insistence that they pray for me. They’d tell me that they wanted to pray for me, sometimes asking me if that was OK, but most of the time not. If they did ask, I would turn them down with a sneer. No means no, even when it comes to God’s blessings.

The pride that some Christians take in praying for others still bothers me as a born-again believer. Prayer is the most powerful force in the universe, and it should never be used lightly or against the wishes of the recipient. It should also never be done from a position of pride. Or better said, it can’t be done from a position of pride, any more than it can be done lightly or against people’s wishes. Christians may think they’re praying in these cases, but all they’re doing is the spiritual equivalent of spinning their wheels. They’re accomplishing nothing good and going nowhere.

After I was born-again, God let me in on a secret that he’d held from me for decades as an unbeliever. He revealed to me that my grandmother had secretly prayed for me all those years. She’d prayed for me without telling me (and yes, without asking me) because God had guided her to do so, and she prayed from a place of grandmotherly love, not from pride. She did it in secret, and she did it out of obedience to God.

When I was born-again, my grandmother was the first person I told, because in my mind she was the only person I knew who’d understand what had happened to me. What I didn’t know at the time was that God had me rush to tell her because the news of my conversion was part of his payment to her for her labors. She wasn’t just the only person I knew who’d understand what had happened to me, she was the one person who needed to hear it, and God made sure she did. Scripture says there’s more joy in Heaven over one sinner who repents, and that same joy is felt in genuine believers like my grandmother. We believers get paid first and foremost in joy, the kind that only comes from God through his Holy Spirit. Sure, we get other blessings, too (God is very generous to his children), but the main payment is joy.

We need to pray only for those God guides us to pray for, in obedience to him, not to “Christian prayer tradition”. Jesus wasn’t a fan of public prayer and used it only in rare cases where circumstances demanded it be used and where God guided him to use it. Otherwise, he followed his own advice of retreating to his prayer closet (or to anyplace private) and praying in secret for those God guided him to pray for. Jesus is our model for how to pray, not YouTube prophets or televangelists or street preachers. We’re to pray in secret and only with God’s go-ahead, and to pray from a place of love, not pride.

Prayer is the most powerful force in the universe; we need to respect it as such.