By landing the quad axel, [Ilia] Malinin may have maxed out the boundaries of human performance. Most sports scientists agree that the speed and amplitude necessary for five-revolution jumps truly is impossible…. ¹

HALIFAX, Nova Scotia, February 16, 2026 – I loved figure skating when I was a kid. I was no “contender” (as Marlon Brando famously put it²), but I loved skating nonetheless. I took it up again briefly a few years ago as an enthusiastic adult. Still no contender, but men would occasionally follow me around the arena and ask me to teach their kids (lol).

I finally had to give up skating altogether following an unrelated knee injury. Resigned to being sidelined at arenas for the rest of my time on Earth, I still love to watch figure skaters and to dream about when I’ll be skating again in Heaven. Really skating. Contender-level skating.

I was watching a video of Ilia Malinin a few weeks ago, marveling at his jumps (especially his trademark quadruple axel), when God told me I’ll be able to do that and more – at least ten revolutions – in Heaven. Surprised at his comment, I asked God if that’s because it’s Heaven and everything’s possible in Heaven. And he said no, there are still limits in Heaven and I’d still have to learn how to skate properly; I wouldn’t arrive in Heaven already knowing how to do jumps and spins. I’d have to learn things in Heaven just like I do on Earth. The difference is that Heaven has different “natural laws”, which means that our bodies are different, especially the bones.

“The bones?”

“Yes. Your bones in Heaven will be more like birds’ bones – hollow and light. Only unlike earthly birds’ bones, your heavenly bones will be unbreakable.” He went on to explain further that the birdlike lightness of my heavenly bones, combined with my heavenly body’s zero fat and infinitely flexible joints and strong muscles, will enable me to propel myself high up into the air, completing a dozen revolutions or more and covering a vast distance. It will almost be like flying.

“Good bones”, God repeated. “It’ll be in your good bones. You’ll see.”

Meanwhile, back on Earth, scientists report that

[a]n ideal quadruple jump spans around 0.6 seconds, wherein the skaters have to first take off, then spin four and a half times…. Studies estimate that for an ideal quintuple jump, the athlete has to have a jump duration of around 0.8 seconds…. This requires humongous heights and distances which can only be achieved by ‘pencil’ thin bodies and about 90% rotation efficiency, meaning that only 10% of the total airtime should be used for take-off and landing while also starting off with greater forces to increase angular momentum.³

And yet according to God, our jumping ability is not just in the “speed and amplitude”¹ or in having a “pencil-thin” body or maxed-out angular momentum³ – it’s in the lightness of the bones. Our human bones are heavy and solid and also depend on fragile ligaments and joints that are prone to stiffness. None of these issues will be a factor in Heaven. If scientists can figure out a way to hollow out skaters’ bones (and do away with ligaments and joints), they might just make it past the current quadruple human limit.

I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to test-run my new body on my local skating surface in Heaven. It’ll be one of the first things I do when (and if) I get Home.

So move over, Ilia (and Marlon)! There’s gonna be a new contender in town….

¹ Led by Fairfax’s Ilia Malinin, figure skaters push limits of human performance | FFXnow

² I Coulda Been a Contender – On the Waterfront (6/8) Movie CLIP (1954) HD

³ Scientist’s Magazine