I think the question should rather be: “How can I NOT know if I’m born again?” When a soul undergoes spiritual rebirth (healing, is made whole), it’s such a revolution that there is zero doubt what has taken place. It affects every part of your being, and the impression it makes on you is so primal and so deeply entrenched that you’re more certain of your rebirth than you are of your name and date of birth. Your spiritual birth becomes more real and more of a milestone than your physical birth. That’s how you know you’re born again. In fact, you will even change physically INSTANTANEOUSLY when you’re born again. Those who are genuinely reborn can attest to this.
I was born again from atheism 20 years ago, and whenever I come across the question “How can I know I am born again”, the only honest answer is the same one you’d give to someone who’s wondering if they’re actually in love: If you have to ask or if you have any doubts, you’re not.
That doesn’t mean that you can’t become born again, and we all need to be born again if we are to see God’s Kingdom (as Jesus tells us). But lying about it or pretending you’re born again is not the way to go. Remember the guy who got booted from the wedding feast because he didn’t have the proper clothing? Don’t be that guy.
If you doubt you’re born again, you’re not born again, so make it your goal to be born again. Tell God what you want, and then do whatever he advises. If you genuinely want to be born again, God already knows, but tell him anyway. He needs to hear it from you, plain and simple and openly. You don’t have to use fancy words or recite a script; just tell him what you want in your own words. And be brutally honest with him. In return, he will be brutally honest with you and will very clearly let you know what is standing between you and being born again. Whatever that thing is, get rid of it. Let it go. God will show you how and help you do it, once you’ve made the choice to do it.
I lived for 36 years as an atheist and now for 20 years as a born-again follower of Jesus, and I can tell you there is NO COMPARISON between the two states of being. I would honestly rather die than live even one minute without God. The life I had before being born again was not life; it was a long slow torturous death. I thank God every day and all day for saving me from that death, I thank Jesus for his sacrifice, and I do whatever I can now to bring others to God.
If you doubt that you’re born again and you want to be born again, you can be born again. This is something that is only between you and God – not between you and your pastor, not between you and your best friend, not between you and your spouse, not between you and your family, and not between you and your favourite social media forum – it’s between you and God. So let God know how you feel and what you want, and he will take it from there.