HALIFAX, Nova Scotia, January 1, 2025 – This is a difficult discussion to have, mainly because not everyone agrees with these sentiments, and some are violent in their disagreement. Worldly Christians in particular bristle at the teaching and accuse me of misapplying scripture. But it’s not a misapplication of scripture to say that our relationships in this world should be the same kind of relationships that Jesus had. It’s not a misapplication of scripture to say that we should live as Jesus lived. It’s a teaching, not a misapplication of scripture. It’s a teaching.

If we read the lines and between the lines of scripture, we can clearly see the kind of relationships Jesus maintained and sought during his ministry years. First and foremost, it didn’t include the kind of relationships that worldly Christians consider their core emotional touchstones. Jesus did not have a good relationship with his immediate family. They didn’t believe that he was the Messiah and even tried to stop his ministry when he lived in Capernaum. In response to their disbelief, Jesus kept them as arms’ length. He didn’t despise them. He didn’t reject them. He didn’t curse them. He saw them as a trouble point and so treated them accordingly.

He also, as far as we know, didn’t maintain any friendships with childhood friends in Nazareth or with anyone from Nazareth. The siblings Mary, Martha, and Lazarus, along with a few of the better-known female followers, appear to be Jesus’ only friends outside of his disciples, and his disciples he met only after he started his ministry work. John the Baptist he knew because he was his cousin, but how close they were is debatable. Jesus, of course, knew everything he needed to know about John, but John was somewhat on the fence about the messiahship of Jesus. At times he seemed to believe, while at other times he seemed to doubt. This waffling kept John and Jesus at a distance from one another.

Jesus had no close relationship at all with anyone in established religion. In fact, the religious powers-that-be were Jesus’ worst enemies, just as today they are ours. Anyone who receives a salary for preaching is not your friend. There are zero exceptions to this rule.

The humans we choose to be close to during our time on Earth should reflect the kind of choices Jesus made. Jesus’ choices should guide ours. Being friendly with someone is not the same as being friends, any more than sharing a meal with someone is indicative of closeness. We should never reject people because they’re not born-again. Jesus didn’t reject his family, even when they refused to accept him as the Messiah. He didn’t reject them, no, but he also didn’t spend much time with them, and he didn’t reveal much of himself to them.

Like Jesus, we can only have close relationships with people who are fully committed believers and have accepted Jesus as the Messiah. We can be friendly and spend time with people who are not believers, but we have to be careful what we say to them. They may come across as supportive and sympathetic, but consciously or not – intentionally or not – they will one day betray us. One way or another, they will betray us. Scripture is very clear about that.

It’s better in the end to be alone than to have false friends, just as it’s better not to marry and not to have children. These teachings are directly from scripture. I thank God every day that I don’t have a spouse or a child. I thank God every day for the vast Heaven of believers who are my family and friends in the spiritual realm. Being alone as a born-again believer doesn’t mean one is actually alone. I’m never alone.

If you’re born-again, you know what I mean.