CAMPBELLTON, New Brunswick, May 14, 2023 – Honoring their mother doesn’t come easily to some people, which is why God made it a Commandment.
Commandments are non-negotiable. If you submit to them, you’ll be blessed; if you rebel against them, you’ll suffer.
Many Christians habitually break the Commandment to honor their mother and then suffer for it, not knowing the cause of their suffering. They don’t see their unkind words about their mother as breaking the Commandment, they don’t see their continued blaming and shaming of their mother as breaking the Commandment, but anything unkind you say about your mother is breaking the Commandment. Even if you complain about your mother to your spouse or your best friend or your counsellor, you’re breaking the Commandment. No matter what your mother’s done to you in the past, there is no cause that justifies breaking the Commandment.
To honor your mother means to speak kindly of her. It doesn’t matter if she was a mass murderer who made it her life’s sole purpose to destroy you and everything and everyone you love – you still honor your mother by speaking kindly of her. And not only speaking kindly of her but thinking kindly of her. This may seem like an impossible task for some Christians, but it needs to be done. The Commandment needs to be kept, no exceptions.
If you find it difficult to speak and think kindly of your mother and need to talk to someone about it, talk to God. Talk to Jesus. Go to them in prayer and talk to them through the power of God’s Holy Spirit, which is your very great privilege if you’re a Christian. Ask them to help you to think and speak kindly of your mother because you want to keep the Commandment but you’re having a hard time doing it. Keeping the Commandment should be more important to you, as a Christian, than pointing a finger of blame at your mother, no matter what she’s done.
I constantly hear Christians, including professional preachers, say nasty things about their mother and complain that she was abusive. Other Christians, hearing these complaints, chime in with their own horror stories about their mother. This kind of behavior normalizes breaking the Commandment so that people don’t even realize they’re doing it. They put their hurt feelings and bad memory confessions ahead of submission to God.
As Christians, we can’t do this. Submission to God and his Commandments is more important than nursing grievances. If you’ve trash-talked, complained about, or otherwise dishonored your mother in the past, you need to stop. If you haven’t made the decision to choose to forgive your mother for whatever she’s done to you, you need to do it. The decision is only yours to make. Choosing to forgive and honoring your mother go hand-in-hand.
I hope that you take this reminder about honoring your mother to heart. God’s Commandments are not meant to make our lives miserable but to prevent us from having a miserable life. Honoring your mother is as important a Commandment as all the others, with just as grievous consequences if you choose not to obey it.
Note that the Commandment is not to love your mother, but to honor her. God is not asking something of you that you’re not able to do. If you need his help to honor your mother, ask for it. He’ll give it to you willingly and generously. Again, please take this reminder about honoring your mother to heart. Knowingly, willfully, and unrepentantly breaking one of God’s Commandments will keep you out of Heaven.